“Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is the noble art of leaving things undone. The wisdom of life lies in eliminating the nonessentials.” Chinese Proverb.

Living in balance is not about having a myriad balls in the air, at the same time. That’s not balance, that’s juggling. It’s like running uphill constantly, hoping your legs won’t give. At the end of a day’s juggling, one feels out of breath.

A person in balance is hardly ever out of breath because, at any given point, he knows that he is in the right place, at the right time, doing the right thing.

To achieve balance, one has to be willing to drop some balls. It requires clarity and the willingness to put what’s really important ahead of the nonessentials that usually fill our days.

To be clear of what is essential, we need to get to know who we are and who we want to be, in every aspect of our lives. We need to evaluate and decide what activities support or undermine our well being.

It takes no time for things to creep into our daily life and our schedule. That’s why it’s important to review and revise constantly. By keeping a watchful eye, setting clear boundaries and eliminating the nonessentials, we ensure that, what we invest our time and energy in, reflects our priorities and goals.

No aspect of our life and work can ever flourish without our attention. When we work on a project where other people are involved, we make sure to meet and discuss the details, deadlines and progress. We make sure that, every action point and every step we take, brings us closer to the successful completion of the project. When it comes to working on the project of our “life” though, we forget all we know.

Let’s begin by taking a good look at our habits and determine what activities and daily habits qualify as “nonessential.”

Invest 5-10 minutes each day to review and revise. Eliminate the “nonessential” or at least move them to the bottom of your to-do-list…. Give priority to what really matters – at work and at home.

When someone asks you to make a commitment, think carefully before you say “yes.” Saying “no” is a lot easier than you think and pretty soon you’ll be very comfortable doing that.

There is a lot more you can do but for now . . . Stop juggling and be truly productive!

“He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead; his eyes are closed.” Albert Einstein

The more I work with people the more I see how caught up we are in an unforgiving pace of being. The art of pausing and taking in the landscape, sort-of-speak, is lost in our to-do lists.

We’ve all had the experience of going through a day and not having a moment to breathe. Even the language we use to describe a day like this, is quite revealing. We say: “I didn’t get the chance to breathe today” or “What a day! I’m out of breath.” How can that be? How can we go through a day without breathing? Let’s see.

How does it feel to go through a day at high speed? Some of the physical symptoms can include anxiety, a sense of not being able to take a deep breath, exhaustion, headache. Emotions can range from annoyance to agitation and resentment. Our ability to focus and be truly effective, is compromised. We may find it difficult to be patient, tolerant or understanding towards other people.

I don’t think our appreciation of life runs high when we’re spinning our wheels, waiting for landing. How can we appreciate the present moment, when we go through our day waiting for when we’ll be somewhere else, doing something completely different?

That’s when the practice of “pausing” can make all the difference.

Pausing, even for five minutes, can drastically change our perspective of the present moment and situation. It’s easier to pause before we react or speak than wishing we could go back in time (rather impossible) and do something differently.

Taking the time to pause and take in the landscape of a situation, a relationship, an exchange can strengthen our mental clarity and empower our decision making in ways we can’t even imagine. Giving ourselves the gift of a few deep breaths in the midst of chaos, can ground us, infuse us with energy, and remind us of everything we have to be grateful for.

Give yourself the gift of pausing throughout your day. Life is not meant to be lived on automatic. Time stretches for people who live every moment to its full capacity. May you be one of them.

For over ten years I have had the opportunity to work with people who live their lives under the weight of personal responsibility and professional obligation and find themselves wishing they could find a way to stop the frenetic pace of their lives.

The belief system that permeates our society is
that somehow we can have it all and if only we apply ourselves, we can achieve anything we want. There is nothing wrong with these beliefs as long as they are kept in perspective.

What we don’t seem able or willing to understand is
that there are only twenty-four hours in a day, seven days in a week, and there is only one of each of us. Cloning is not an option.

We have computers and wireless communication, in general, all the technology we need to help us stay connected 24-7. We are expected to deliver results in less time and at all times. We have fast cars, fast food restaurants, and instant access to more information than we can ever use or need.

We live at dizzying speed and our ability to focus on any one thing for long periods of time is weakening. “Long periods of time?” we ask. Five minutes is all I have to give you.

Under these circumstances it shouldn’t come as a surprise that
when I ask my clients what they do to take care of themselves, their answers range from the “I know how to take care of myself but can hardly find the time to do so” to “I don’t have time to take care of myself.”

So, let me understand this. We take our cars for regular check-ups because we understand that if we let it go for too long, the car will break down and will not be able to take us from point A to point B. Plus, if we let it go for too long without maintenance or addressing a specific problem, fixing the problem could cost us a large sum of money.

We perform daily maintenance on our computers because we understand, and some of us have learned the hard way, that if we don’t take care of our computers and back up our work, we can lose hours and hours of work. Or, the system may break down and need replacement and that’s an expensive proposition, never mind the long hours we find ourselves disconnected from the rest of the world.

If our cell phones stop working, we panic. OMG, how can anyone reach us? We feel isolated.

I’m sure by now, you know where I’m heading. We understand the importance of taking good care of our computers, cars, and cell phones, among other things that occupy the food chain of our daily existence. We make time to take good care of them. But, when it comes to our bodies and minds, we push self-care and good maintenance to the back burner.

If our health, state of mind, and quality of emotions start “malfunctioning,” what then? Isn’t it time to start looking at our priorities with a new pair of eyes? Have we gotten it all backwards? What really matters here and what are you going to do about it?

Oops, my time’s up!

“Time is money!” And so the old adage goes. Given the state of our economy and the fact that so many people complain that there aren’t enough hours in a day, it’s safe to say that managing our time as well as our finances is pretty challenging these days.

Now, I will not sit here and pretend to be a financial wizard. One thing that has always worked for me though, is knowing how much money comes in, where it goes and what my financial priorities are. I find that to be a good starting point.

I treat time the same way. There are twenty-four hours in a day and, nothing I ever do or wish, will ever change that. The next logical question then is: “What do I have control over and what is the best investment of my time?”

When I work with clients who find time management to be a major challenge, the first thing I ask them to do is an inventory of where their time goes daily. Knowledge is power, after all.

Documenting your daily activities in detail, allows you to see clearly how you invest or spend your time and the effect your time choices have on the quality of your life and your sense of well being. When you look at, how your days go and how easily things can get out of hand, it’s easy to see why you may be on the verge of burn out.

Effective time management is close to impossible if we lack the conviction of our values and true priorities. That’s why the next step includes an honest look on what your true priorities are and how they compare with your daily choices. Most people are surprised to see how little their daily activities reflect their life priorities.

By gaining clarity on what we truly value and want to have in life, we become able to make the choices that make every hour of our day time well spent.

P1011313It snowed today – a lot! The storm picked up momentum as the day went on. I found myself drawn to the window often. I couldn’t see the garden. I know there is life there – under the thick blanket of snow. The garden has already started preparing for its showy comeback. We are getting close now.

Gardening is one of the ways I express myself creatively. I grew up watching my grandfather growing roses, tending grapes and fruit trees. In the summer, he used to wake me up early in the morning to go pick up figs for breakfast. At noon, the children used to lie down, in the shade of this huge fig tree that was in our back yard, and nap, while our mothers would sit nearby and gossip or knit – finding respite from the heat.

Why am I telling you all this? Well, my mind works in mysterious ways and I’ve learned not to fight it. I believe that everything has its place in this earth school of ours. Everything we experience finds its proper use in our life’s journey.

As I began daydreaming about my garden and spring in the middle of this cold, snow covered day, I couldn’t help but think of all the lessons my garden has taught me. Here is some of what I’ve learned that applies to life and work:

  • Take time to plan before you dig -saves a lot of time, energy, and disappointment;
  • Design the garden that pleases you;
  • Let the garden show you what it needs – stay flexible;
  • Don’t worry about getting your hands dirty;
  • Keep up with the weeds or they’ll take over your garden;
  • Take your cues from the flowers themselves – if something refuses to thrive – let it go;
  • Don’t be afraid to try something new;
  • Learn from your mistakes;
  • Above all, a garden is meant to be shared and enjoyed – There is always time to stop and smell the roses!

We are conditioned to think that when the going gets tough the tough gets going. In today’s business environment, people are asked to do more with less. That means longer work hours, less pay, less time off; overall we are in survival mode.

What else can we do? People are losing their jobs, the well is running dry, and the forecast is bleak. How do we go about maintaining our stamina while juggling our lives and not losing ourselves in the process? Read more

It’s been three months since my last entry. Life happened and I found myself in need of a retreat.

As a dear friend once suggested: “Maybe it’s time to do just what’s in front of you; chop wood, carry water and let the world go by.” Every so often, I need to do just that.

So, I focused on my family, my closest friends and my work with existing clients. I only did what was absolutely necessary and what gave me joy. I needed to clear the cobwebs of my mind and trim off the excess, sort of speak.

During this time, I witnessed an old friend’s futile battle with cancer. He was 37 and a father of two. I opened up to the fear, anxiety and confusion that most of us experience these days with everything that’s going on. Read more

Over the years, I’ve learned how easy it is to lose ourselves in the roller coaster of holiday activity, mismanaged priorities, and social pressure.

It’s important to know how we want this time of the year to be. What do we crave for? What is our heart’s desire? As we go through our days, busy thoughts racing through our minds, what do we wish for?

When we are clear as to our wants and needs, we are more likely to satisfy them. Neglecting to honor our personal needs results in lack of personal balance and satisfaction. Read more

Living a healthy life, what does it really mean? Is a healthy life reflected in our physical health, our mental state, our relationships, our work, our stress level? What does it mean?

I was talking to a young woman yesterday. She is twenty-four years old, very bright, beautiful, and a genuine mover and shaker. She had just changed jobs and we were talking about her process. I shared my experience of climbing the corporate ladder only to find out – as I was turning forty – that I wasn’t willing to keep paying the price for corporate success. Living a life of inner conflict wasn’t for me. Read more

Procrastination is a fact of life! Most of us deal with procrastination sooner or later. Whether it’s the piles of paper on our desk waiting to be dealt with, the phone call we dread returning, or the doctor appointment we avoid making, there are seven basic reasons for procrastination.

1. You don’t like the nature of the task and you consider it a waste of  time. The task maybe boring or time consuming. You just don’t want to do it and that’s that.

Figure out what it is you don’t like about the task or the project. Think of alternative ways of dealing with it. Delegate it, ask for help, or find a way to get it off your plate once and for all. If all else fails, break the task into smaller steps, schedule time to tackle each step at a time, and reward yourself for completing the cycle. Find a way to motivate yourself and make it interesting.

2. You’re afraid of the outcome.

Consider the possibility that you may be afraid of what it means to complete this project. Is there something that’s working behind the scenes that you are not clear about? Are your concerns realistic? Are you making things worse by procrastinating? Read more