Jul

13

On a clear day you can see forever

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Always loved this title - don’t remember the movie very well but the title has stayed with me. It must be the idea of total clarity and panoramic view that I’m attracted to.

A few years ago I took a trip to New Mexico and visited the cliffs of Puye. I remember standing on top of a cliff, outside a cave dwelling and looking out. The view was vast, clear and powerful. It must have been easy to feel humble standing up there. There were trees for as far out as I could see and a blue, blue sky that made my breath stop. It was a gift.

We go from one thing to the next, hardly any time to loose. Often, we can’t see the forest for the trees. We loose the ability to take in the view, appreciate what is and evaluate our position.

To rise above the hustle and bustle is to give ourselves permission to see clearly. Our view of life expands, our perspective changes and our experience of the present moment becomes transformed.

We owe it to ourselves to go on higher ground and look around. As our eyes adjust to the distance and our breath becomes deeper, our body relaxes and our thoughts slow down. We become one with the vista and a deep appreciation rises.

The day to day minutia loosen their grip on our psyche and we feel relaxed. At times like this, anything can happen. Inspiration, new found joy, a smile, a vision of limitless possibilities.

Why not take a break, go to a place where you can stand, alone, and look out. Stay for a few moments, just you and what’s in front of you. Breathe in and out, feel the breeze, smell the air, expand. Let your mind rest, slow down, and see what happens next.

Jul

10

Tribal thinking

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Sports is not one of my passions. I leave that to my husband, a die hard Yankees and Celtics fan. A man of eclectic taste who makes no apologies. I find baseball too slow, basketball too fast and tennis just right!

I managed to resist paying attention to all the hoopla about LeBron James. Not interested! Until Dan Gilbert’s petty letter started circulating the web that is. I caught a glimpse of a couple of paragraphs and that’s when I tuned in. There are many aspects of this that rub me the wrong way but then again, what’s new?

Then, there is the story about Nirupama Pathak, a 22 year old Indian woman found dead in her bedroom. Her death is considered an honor killing and her mother has been arrested as the prime suspect. It appears this young woman had violated the rules of her caste and class by falling in love with a man of lower caste.

These two stories began to intertwine in my head. On one hand a basketball superstar being trashed all over the internet for choosing something other than what his “tribe” wanted him to choose. On the other hand, a young woman of 22 being murdered for following her heart.

Perils of tribal behavior is all I can think about. Our expectations of each other, the burden and pressure imposed on so many people by their “tribe.”

Whether it’s the tribe we were born in, or the tribe that adopted us along the way, the tribe we created or became part of, whether it’s family, work, social group . . . does it really matter? The basics remain the same. Conform or else.

How many dreams have died in the process? How many lives compromised? What is the true cost of the unbearable influence of the tribe? Where do we – as individuals – stand? How much of who we think we are is a mere reinterpretation of our tribal rules and regulations?

I suspect that so many of the rules we live by are nothing but payback for generations of lost dreams and aspirations.

Robert Frost comes to mind these days.

“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I–
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.”

It’s all about the choices we make, isn’t it?

Jul

3

Shock Value

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I came across a blog the other day. It’s a marketing blog. 24,000 thousand readers are following this blog. Impressive? I say so!

I read through a few entries. The author has definitely a lot to offer, she’s generous and funny and straight forward. What struck me though was the language. Vulgar? Yes! One reads through it and feels an intimate connection with the author. You can easily imagine talking to a good friend who’s sharing her frustration over a cup of coffee. I guess it works because – did I mention? There are 24,000 readers following this blog!

Am I the only one thinking that manners matter? I don’t believe so. Language is art. Words carry energy and vibrations that affect people on much deeper levels that we know or comprehend. Call me an old-fashioned gal but I tend to choose my words carefully.

I keep thinking, “How far do I have to go to capture the attention of a very inattentive audience? Is this what it takes to grab people’s attention these days? Do I have to share the most intimate details of my life in foul language to make people pay attention to what I have to say?” No matter how I toss this coin, it always comes up the same.

Do I want to have 24,000 people following my blog? Yes! Am I willing to follow the trend of the day and join the rat race of shock and awe? No!

When it’s all said and written, being myself is all I can be!

Jun

24

Cultivating self-respect!

Filed Under Living your best life, Work life balance issues, Working smarter not harder | 3 Comments

During my Daily Habits teleclass today, I had the chance to observe, once again, wisdom in action.

People shared the challenges and dilemmas they face when it comes to self-care. They jumped in to support one another and in doing so, they proved how wise, knowing, willing and generous they are  . . . when it comes to others.

It’s not that we don’t know how to exercise self-care, we just don’t do it. Somewhere along the way, pushing our needs in the back burner, became a life forming habit!

It got me thinking about respect.

  • What does it mean to have respect for someone or something?
  • What about self-respect? How does that feel?
  • Can you think of the last time you felt respect?
  • Is your sense of respect based on the values you learned as children or did you develop your own brand of respect along the way?

Here’s what I came up with:

  • Relax – open up to who you’re with, the situation, your surroundings
  • Engage – be an active and willing participant
  • Simplify – eliminate background noise and clutter-  see clearly
  • Pay attention – stay present – observe – take it in
  • Enjoy – give yourself permission to feel the joy that’s yours
  • Care – for whatever and whoever needs your attention
  • Trust – yourself in this very moment!

Jun

11

Flightless Birds

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I saw this tv ad about the “isle of the flightless birds.” I honestly can’t remember what the ad is all about (goes to show you how much attention I pay to ads.)

It’s the  concept of the “flightless birds” that has stayed with me.

I find myself thinking, “What does it mean to be a flightless bird?” Is it a bird that has never flown or a bird that can’t fly? Why is that? How does it feel being a flightless bird? How can that ever be?

A bird is born to take flight. What a strange feeling, living the life of one who is meant to fly but never does!

Does a flightless bird live its days looking up in the sky, wishing it could reach it? Does it waddle around, stuck on the earth, always dreaming of incredible heights, of feeling the wind on its wings?

What about people? What about those who go through life dreaming of flying and never quite take off. Always dreaming, never flying. What holds them back? Is it fear, doubt or both? Does it become natural after a while?

Jun

9

Getting In My Own Way

Filed Under Time management, Work life balance issues, Working smarter not harder | Leave a Comment

I began this morning by inviting people to keep it simple for today and choose their disruptions wisely. For the most part, I tried to do what I preached.

A meeting I had in the morning, finished earlier than I expected, my to-do-list was moving along nicely and by early afternoon, I found myself with time in my hands. I should have known there was trouble around the corner.

I decided that I wanted to change some things on my website and took to task. The website designer I have worked with for almost ten years, is wonderful and very supportive. Over the years she has given me much more leeway that’s good for me. Keep reading and you’ll see why I say that!

All in all, it took me less than ten minutes to get into trouble. Whether the code I altered was small or not, the website looked like it got hit by a hurricane. No, wait, it did get hit by a hurricane . . .Me!

I called Terry and she took care of it within minutes. Never once did she seem annoyed -  and she had every right to be. When it was all said and done, I was left aware of the simple fact that not only I hadn’t chosen my disruptions wisely but I had created unnecessary drama for somebody else.

Here’s what I was reminded of today:

  • Busy work is just that . . . busy work. It undermines our focus and peace of mind without contributing to the quality of our life or the accomplishment of our goals;
  • Disruptions are like pebbles thrown on a calm pond. You throw one in and it creates ripples. The drama we create doesn’t just disrupt our life but the life of those close to us;
  • Free time is a gift. It is to be honored and used wisely; and
  • Some things are meant to be delegated to those who know better.

Jun

8

Liar Liar Pants on Fire!

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The girls and I were looking at upcoming movie ads in the paper one day, when one of them turned to me and said: “Now, mom, this movie here is supposed to be number one but here is another one and another one. How many movies exactly are number one this season?” Ha?

From the mouths of babes . . . although, please don’t let my daughters know I called them this way.

We went ahead to have a conversation about advertising and marketing and how misleading ads can be. Then, I sat down to write this.

How many number one movies can there be, how many “Best” cars or “Best ever?” whatever?

These days, I consider myself lucky, if the person I’m dealing with actually does what they said they were going to do. That is, without me having to call another two times and speak to another five people, in God knows what continent, before my problem is solved. Or, wasting my time, trying to outsmart a computer asking me questions, so I can speak to a living, breathing person who may or may not be able to help me.

It seems to me we’re so consumed with coming up with the jazziest way to say things, that we don’t bother to check whether, what we claim, is true. Why bother with the facts? As long as we sound smart, we’re OK.

Too many promises, too little results. Wouldn’t it be better if we spoke our truth and then invested our time and energy in fulfilling our promises and putting our efforts where our mouth is?

Jun

6

Missing Opportunities?

Filed Under Business Success, Living your best life, Work life balance issues, Working smarter not harder | 1 Comment

When do we know we’re playing hide-and-go-seek with success?

Can it be when we don’t take the time (because who has time for trivia anyway?) to spell it out for ourselves?

Do we know what a successful business . . . a successful life look like? Or, is it, other people’s beliefs of what success is, that define us?

What is success? How does it look, smell, feel? How is success measured in your work, in your life, or is it possible to keep the two separate?

“Good questions but guess what . . .  I got to go now.” “Got to surf the net, check on what other people are saying on Twitter, go see what’s in the fridge one more time.”

You know what I’m talking about. It’s when we know we should follow up with the two potential clients we met last night, or sit down and review our numbers and get a plan going . . .  but instead we choose to hide (Yes, Hide!) behind whatever distractions come our way in the course of the day. Is it self-sabotage, self-doubt,  being distracted or all of the above?

Distractions come wrapped in pretty little packages. You don’t know it’s gonna blow your focus out of the water, until you open the package.

Distractions are plentiful. They can derail our day, undermine our goals and affect the quality of our life. They can send a business spinning into oblivion.

What’s your poison?

  • Internet browsing, texting, talking on the phone, or checking voicemail every half hour?
  • Eating, drinking, shopping, or TV watching?
  • Saying Yes when you should say No and mean it?
  • Living in the future, living in the past or wishing you were elsewhere? OR
  • Comparing yourself to someone else and always coming up short?

Face the facts and change your picture!

  • What’s the cost of distraction?
  • Fed up or not yet?
  • Ready to get ahead of the curve, the competition, the voice in your head that holds you back?
  • Pumped up and ready to let go of your distractions?
  • Make your list and don’t waiver. Show the world what you’re made of.
  • Think big, state your intention, write it down, paint it, draw it, post it where you can see it.
  • Let your choices reflect your priorities and who you want to be. Every day!
  • Celebrate your victories, be gentle with your setbacks and ruthless with your time boundaries.
  • Remember, every day is a day when opportunity can come knocking at your door. Open it!

May

28

Upcoming Teleclass: “Daily Habits; The Cornerstone of Our Well Being”

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Our daily habits can support or undermine our sense of well being and the quality of our life, one day at a time.

More often that not, small changes in our daily routine can result in increased energy and confidence.

Join me in this teleclass and get the opportunity to:

  • Evaluate your current daily habits;
  • Uncover the hidden costs of unproductive habits;
  • Determine what fuels your energy;
  • Discuss how saying “No” can be an act of self-care;
  • Explore specific changes you can make to increase your energy and sense of well being.

Every day is a fresh start and a chance to do something different. Reserve your spot for this teleclass, today. This can be the beginning of a wonderful friendship – with yourself, that is!

When: Thursday, June 24

12pm-1pm EST

Register by June 21st.

Upon registration, you will receive an email with call-in details and class handouts.

May

7

Keeping it Light!

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Q. Although, I have no problem of speaking about “what I do,” I am conscious of not cornering people with the hard sell- therefore I feel I may miss opportunities. How do I maintain a balance between being “authentic” and marketing effectively?

What a great question! Those of us who face this dilemma, raise your hands! There are many ways to approach this and just by looking at how many books are written on the subject, we can easily say it’s a common struggle.

Let’s begin by accepting the simple fact that being ourselves is much easier than trying to be someone else. It’s important to know who we are and to recognize what comes natural and easy to us. That’s a good starting point when thinking about marketing. When we are comfortable in our own skin; when we have fun and we enjoy what we’re doing, we become attractive to those around us.

There is homework to be done and you have to be clear about:

  1. The benefits and value of your product/service,
  2. Who your ideal client/audience is, and
  3. What needs of your ideal client your product/service addresses and how.

If you passionately believe in what you offer, then you are in a very good position to being successful with your marketing.

Let’s say you have all of the above in place and you still find it hard to talk about what you do and close the sale. This is a good time for a heart-to-heart chat with yourself. Is there an underlying belief system that undermines your efforts? Is there something lurking behind the scenes that sneaks out and introduces self-doubt into the equation? Is it fear, lack of confidence, doubt, old tapes playing? Is it time to discard the old and commit to something new?

Remember, passion and enthusiasm are contagious. Sometimes, I think we get too uptight and serious when it comes to marketing. Yes, it can be intimidating but the best antidote is to have fun with it. Don’t worry much about the outcome. Didn’t Woody Allen say that 85% of success is showing up? Go ahead, show up and show them who you are and what you have to offer. Be yourself and show the world your greatness.

Those who need what you have to offer will ask for more. They will show interest, they will ask questions, they’ll want to know more. That’s your cue. Go for it. Marketing is like dancing. When we dance, we don’t think about it. We let go and let our body follow the music and respond to our partner. Have fun, stay light and dance your way  to success!