Welcome to the Open for Success Blog: a virtual space where overwhelmed professionals and entrepreneurs can get inspiration and practical ideas for achieving work life balance.

Get New Post Alerts

 Subscribe in a reader

Enter your email address:
 
Delivered by FeedBurner

• Recently Written

  • Recharging the Battery - Part I
  • Observing Life
  • The 3 best gifts to give yourself!
  • Conversations with Yota
  • A healthy life; If not now when?
  • More thoughts on procrastination
  • What’s on your mind?
  • Learning to exhale
  • In present time
  • It’s not the what, it’s the who!
  • Conversations with Yota
  • What can one do?

• Categories

  • Business purpose
  • Transition
  • Work life balance issues
    • Living your best life
    • Time management
    • Working smarter not harder

• Archives

  • March 2009
  • December 2008
  • November 2008
  • October 2008
  • September 2008
  • July 2008
  • April 2008
  • March 2008
  • February 2008

• Blogroll

  • CereusWomen
  • Freakonomics: The Hidden Side of Everything
  • Green Career Central
  • Green Inc.: Energy, the Environment, and the Bottom Line
  • Motherlode: Adventures in Parenting
  • Shifting Careers: Smart Thinking at Work
  • The Alchemy of Abundance: Opening to Life’s Fullness with Rick Jarow

  Search

Submit a question



Follow me on Twitter

We are conditioned to think that when the going gets tough the tough gets going. In today’s business environment, people are asked to do more with less. That means longer work hours, less pay, less time off; overall we are in survival mode.

What else can we do? People are losing their jobs, the well is running dry, and the forecast is bleak. How do we go about maintaining our stamina while juggling our lives and not losing ourselves in the process?

Numerous studies suggest that long working hours, the inability to do what one loves and enjoys, and not honoring our personal priorities can lead to burnout. What good is that?

No matter what, we can’t stretch time. There are only 24 hours in a day and 7 days in a week. It becomes then a question of managing ourselves and our energy and not just focusing on managing our time.

It has been observed and documented that when people take care of themselves consistently and “recharge their battery” - sort-of-speak -  they perform better and avoid burnout.

Taking care of your body is a good place to start. Begin with the basics.

• How do you sleep? Do you feel rested when you wake up or not?
• What is your ritual before bedtime? Do you eat late? Do you drink? Do you smoke?
• Do you work up until bedtime?
• Do you tend to go to bed irritated and anxious?

Try all or some of the following and see if it makes a difference in how you feel the day after:

• Eat a healthy meal no later than 8 pm;
• Avoid alcohol and caffeine after 6 pm;
• Take a shower or a bath before bedtime;
• Avoid watching late night TV;
• Do something that helps you relax; Forget about work, it will be there tomorrow;
• Take 10-15 minutes before bedtime to meditate.

It’s been three months since my last entry. Life happened and I found myself in need of a retreat.

As a dear friend once suggested: “Maybe it’s time to do just what’s in front of you; chop wood, carry water and let the world go by.” Every so often, I need to do just that.

So, I focused on my family, my closest friends and my work with existing clients. I only did what was absolutely necessary and what gave me joy. I needed to clear the cobwebs of my mind and trim off the excess, sort of speak.

During this time, I witnessed an old friend’s futile battle with cancer. He was 37 and a father of two. I opened up to the fear, anxiety and confusion that most of us experience these days with everything that’s going on.

My daughters are growing up with lightning speed and I find myself wishing things could slow down a little. Nevertheless, life keeps going, impervious to our little dramas. My parents are aging and friends are going through major life transitions. In the midst of all this, I celebrated my 50th birthday and as one of my daughters pointed out, in her infinite compassion, Wow! I have lived half a century already!

I was looking forward to this stage of my life. I find growing older exhilarating and very liberating. There are definite privileges that come with age and I take full advantage of this little fact. Women my age get this.

There is a lot one learns in fifty years. Like, it’s never too late for a change and fear is one’s worst enemy. Or, whether we choose to be happy or not, life goes on, so we may as well lighten up and do the best we can with what we have.

What have you learned from your life experience and how are you applying these lessons? How often do you make time to be with yourself and have a heart-to-heart with you? There is a wealth of wisdom inside and we often forget to dive in and find the treasure.

Over the years, I’ve learned how easy it is to lose ourselves in the roller coaster of holiday activity, mismanaged priorities, and social pressure.

It’s important to know how we want this time of the year to be. What do we crave for? What is our heart’s desire? As we go through our days, busy thoughts racing through our minds, what do we wish for?

When we are clear as to our wants and needs, we are more likely to satisfy them. Neglecting to honor our personal needs results in lack of personal balance and satisfaction.

As this year is coming to a close and while preparing for the year to come, honor yourself by engaging in the practice of:

1. Self-awareness. Being aware of how you feel in any given situation and what you truly want, is a gift and an art worth learning. It takes practice, for certain. Most of us haven’t been encouraged to be present within ourselves and honor ourselves. After all, being human is a journey into self-awareness.

   Imagine the strength that comes from knowing, at any given moment, who you are, what you want, and what you want to do, beyond any reasonable doubt.

   As you go through your day give yourself the gift of pausing and asking: “How do I feel right now?”, “Is this something I want to do or is it something I’m expected to do?”, “What do I want to do instead?”, “Am I willing to do what I want?” You’ll be surprised how little time it takes to do this exercise.

2. Self-acceptance. Children are great teachers in presence of mind and self-acceptance. They seem to know exactly what they want and when they want it by (it’s usually now). They don’t seem to feel self-conscious or guilty for getting their needs and wants met. Adults, are a different story altogether. Whether we have what we want or not, we find a way to torture and reject ourselves and feel guilty on top of it!

   Are you one of these unfortunate but extremely mainstream adults that engage in self-criticism as often as you get the chance? Try some good old fashioned forgiveness and kindness towards the only person that will always be there for you, no matter what: Yourself!

3. Self-love. Am I pushing it? It blows my mind that we actually think we can love others without loving ourselves first. Our relationship with ourselves is an ongoing exercise in learning to love, unconditionally. Isn’t that how humans have been wired to love? So, let’s practice some self-love this season and for seasons to come.

See yourself for who you are, accept yourself, and feel love and compassion for the person you are, for all you have been and all you are meant to be.

If you are facing a challenge at work or at home and would like to explore ways to resolve the situation, sign up for this month’s “Conversations with Yota.”

Every first Tuesday of the month, I am available for those of you who would like to join me in a tele-conference and discuss work life balance issues. It’s free of charge (except for the cost of the actual phone call).

This month’s “Conversation” will take place on December 2nd, 7 - 8 pm EST.

To sign up just send me an email. I will email you back with the phone number to call and the access code.

My vision is to have as many people as possible participate and support one another in our effort to live our best life and stay true to ourselves in the midst of change and anxiety.

Looking forward to hearing from you.

Living a healthy life, what does it really mean? Is a healthy life reflected in our physical health, our mental state, our relationships, our work, our stress level? What does it mean?

I was talking to a young woman yesterday. She is twenty-four years old, very bright, beautiful, and a genuine mover and shaker. She had just changed jobs and we were talking about her process. I shared my experience of climbing the corporate ladder only to find out - as I was turning forty - that I wasn’t willing to keep paying the price for corporate success. Living a life of inner conflict wasn’t for me. Read more

Procrastination is a fact of life! Most of us deal with procrastination sooner or later. Whether it’s the piles of paper on our desk waiting to be dealt with, the phone call we dread returning, or the doctor appointment we avoid making, there are seven basic reasons for procrastination.

1. You don’t like the nature of the task and you consider it a waste of  time. The task maybe boring or time consuming. You just don’t want to do it and that’s that.

Figure out what it is you don’t like about the task or the project. Think of alternative ways of dealing with it. Delegate it, ask for help, or find a way to get it off your plate once and for all. If all else fails, break the task into smaller steps, schedule time to tackle each step at a time, and reward yourself for completing the cycle. Find a way to motivate yourself and make it interesting.

2. You’re afraid of the outcome.

Consider the possibility that you may be afraid of what it means to complete this project. Is there something that’s working behind the scenes that you are not clear about? Are your concerns realistic? Are you making things worse by procrastinating?

3. You may not feel equipped to do something well.

Think about the project or task and be honest with yourself. Are you concerned that you may not do a good job with this project? If the answer is yes, identify the area of concern and think of the resources that you have at your disposal. Are your fears realistic? Is there someone you can go to for additional guidance and support? Would it be worth passing the project to someone else? Read more

It’s Monday morning. Whether you managed to recharge and rest during the weekend or not, you are now on your way. Off to work, a new day, a new week, and there is a host of things to be done. As you are getting ready to check your e-mail and your voice mail, you mentally say a little prayer, hoping that you don’t have to deal with crises first thing Monday morning. And so, it starts.

As you go through your day, there are people to talk to, decisions to be made, projects to review, and problems to solve. Events will transpire that will distract you, demand your attention, drain your energy, and eat up your time. You will try to focus on what’s right in front of you but. . . what about the “unfinished” business?

What about the items that linger in the back of your mind? You know what I mean. I am talking about procrastination; the items on your to-do-list that have not yet been accomplished but are hanging in there, gnawing at you!

Things like the bill you forgot to pay, the phone call you dread to return, the expense report that was due last week, the broken appliance that needs to be fixed, the doctor’s appointment that keeps getting pushed back, the difficult conversation you need to have with a colleague, a family member, or a friend.

I am not writing all this to depress you. Unfinished business can drain your energy and darken your spirit even before you get out of bed in the morning. Unfinished business lingers in the back of your mind, works on your subconscious, and eats you up until you do something about it.

What to do? The simplest and fastest way to bring these items out of hiding and into the light is to write them down. Take five minutes and write down everything that you have been putting off. When you finish writing, take a deep breath, and scan your body and your mind. Do you feel lighter?

Writing down what’s on your mind frees space and energy for you. Instead of allowing your fear of something to control your actions, you are able to examine it from a distance and make a decision.

Look at your list, pick one thing you can do right now, and do it! We can talk at length about why we procrastinate, how we allow things to get out of hand, and what unfinished business really is all about, but that’s for another entry. For now, pick one thing, and do it!

Here’s a quick quiz for you:

1. Do you always feel you don’t have enough time?
2. Are you working on too many projects at once?
3. Do you procrastinate and then push to get something done at the last minute?
4. Have you been dropping the ball lately and forgetting things?
5. Are you on edge emotionally?

If you answered yes to at least four of the five questions, chances are you are running on adrenaline.

“Adrenaline is a hormone produced in high-stress or physically exhilarating situations by the adrenal gland in our body. The term “fight or flight” is often used to characterize the circumstances under which adrenaline is released into the body. It is an early evolutionary adaptation to allow better coping with dangerous and unexpected situations.”

Research shows that it’s important to “work off” the adrenaline that is being released into our system when we experience stressful situations. Failing to do so results in high amounts of adrenaline staying in the body which, in turn, results to “insomnia, anxiety, depression, and a suppressed immune system.”

Now that we got the scientific part over with, it’s safe to say that people can become addicted to this “adrenaline rush.” It becomes a habit and many use it to get through the day and accomplish all that is expected of them.

If you are one of these people, consider the following: Read more

I was reading “Thinking About Memoir” by Abigail Thomas yesterday. No, I am not planning to write my memoir, I just like Thomas. I read “The Three Dog Life” sometime ago, liked her style and what she had to say so much, that I decided to read all her books. “Thinking About Memoir” is one of them.

I thought a lot about our personal stories as I read. We go on living our lives, going through the motions, dealing with unexpected events, checking off our to-do lists, and crossing paths with other people. Somehow morning turns into evening and we don’t know where the hours went.

When I stop and think that the present moment is all I have and I allow myself to be present, I realize how much of my life I have lived on automatic. I don’t like that. There is richness in every day living. I find that when I live in the past or constantly agonize over the future, I forget to recognize and appreciate the present.

I have also noticed that time stretches when I live in the moment. When my mind is not racing, thinking about what’s next or engaging in what has happened, I am at peace, I am focused, and I accomplish all I need to accomplish right on time.

I have come to believe that we have all the time we need in order to accomplish what we need to accomplish. This perspective involves acceptance for what is, presence of mind, right action, and the ability to know when to say no.

Don’t just shake your head, try it!

My clients keep me honest! I can’t work with people on life balance and life purpose unless I do the work myself. I am consistently reminded of this since I attract people who are like minded and are struggling with issues I have also struggled with.

The people who come to me are tired of going on automatic and getting nowhere fast. They want to live a life of purpose, they want to be fulfilled at work,  they want to contribute and make a difference in the world.

As we begin to look at their dreams, their personal gifts and talents, and the belief systems that define them, we unfailingly come to the point when they are asked to make different choices and let go of old beliefs and unproductive habits. Read more