As a dear friend once suggested: “Maybe it’s time to do just what’s in front of you; chop wood, carry water and let the world go by.” Every so often, I need to do just that.

So, I focused on my family, my closest friends and my work with existing clients. I only did what was absolutely necessary and what gave me joy. I needed to clear the cobwebs of my mind and trim off the excess, sort of speak.

During this time, I witnessed an old friend’s futile battle with cancer. He was 37 and a father of two. I opened up to the fear, anxiety and confusion that most of us experience these days with everything that’s going on.

My daughters are growing up with lightning speed and I find myself wishing things could slow down a little. Nevertheless, life keeps going, impervious to our little dramas. My parents are aging and friends are going through major life transitions. In the midst of all this, I celebrated my 50th birthday and as one of my daughters pointed out, in her infinite compassion, Wow! I have lived half a century already!

I was looking forward to this stage of my life. I find growing older exhilarating and very liberating. There are definite privileges that come with age and I take full advantage of this little fact. Women my age get this.

There is a lot one learns in fifty years. Like, it’s never too late for a change and fear is one’s worst enemy. Or, whether we choose to be happy or not, life goes on, so we may as well lighten up and do the best we can with what we have.

What have you learned from your life experience and how are you applying these lessons? How often do you make time to be with yourself and have a heart-to-heart with you? There is a wealth of wisdom inside and we often forget to dive in and find the treasure.

People are reacting and there is a lot of talking going on. The more I hear people talk and the more I read, the more I think that once again, we are asked to go beyond the obvious and get in touch with who we really are and what our life priorities are.

I can’t help seeing the current crisis as a course adjustment. Somewhere along the way we took the wrong turn and got lost in minutiae. Too much of life became about acquisition and the race to the top. Now, don’t get me wrong. I believe in being successful. I also believe in being able to define success for ourselves and not let others define it for us.

Change gives us the opportunity to evaluate our ways, make adjustments, and discover new possibilities. The other day, a friend shared with me that she “tends to see problems as opportunities” and that’s how she has been able to adapt and succeed in the ever-changing business landscape.

What a great outlook! We can all use a shift in perspective now and then. We live in exhilarating times. We need to rise above anxiety and fear and get in touch with the greater part of ourselves, act in meaningful ways, and make a difference in this world.

Coping with change and being faced with uncertainty doesn’t mean that we have to give up the idea of living the life we want to live. It doesn’t mean we have to give up our dreams or expectations. On the contrary, it’s at times like this that we need to stay focused and deliberate.

What do we do? Do we lay low and play it safe? Do we give up our dreams and let our fears do the talking? Or, do we strengthen our resolve, become clearer than ever as to who we want to be, and make the adjustments we need to make, in order to live our best life?

People who don’t have good self-care habits to begin with, find it almost impossible to take care of themselves at times of extreme stress. Health matters. Living with stress, not sleeping or eating well, not exercising, and always focusing on the negative will not make you more effective or solve your problems.

As you are reading this, take a deep breath and scan your body. Feel how the stress is affecting you. Where in your body do you hold the stress? What kind of thoughts do you have? What kind of self-talk do you indulge in? Are fear and anxiety rendering you helpless? Giving in to negative thinking will only result to more of the same.

Let’s start by taking inventory of what is good with your life. Hold on to it. Crisis will come and go. The one thing we can all depend on, is change. What matters most is you, your health, and those you love. Take care of these assets.

Pay yourself first!

• Take the time for a walk without a destination. As you walk, breathe and look around. Take it all in and appreciate the present moment.
• Exercise.
• Sit down for a meal. I remember when I was in corporate, there were days when I forgot to eat. Then my blood sugar would go down and I couldn’t think straight. Eat something healthy. Don’t go for the quick fix. That’s what puts most of us into trouble anyway.
• Laugh! Nothing like a good laugh to help us relax and shake anxiety.
• Talk to the people who make you feel good.
• Play with your kids, tell them how much you love them.
• Take some down time and read a good book or watch a good movie.
• Help someone who needs your help. Nothing like being useful to someone else for putting things into perspective.
• Reflect on your past experience. No matter how bad things may look, most of us have been there before and we are still standing.

How do you stay healthy in stressful times? Go ahead and share.

Experts advise us to stay still and not panic. Sounds like common sense to me. Staying still! Quite a concept. How many of us can stay still? Stillness equals boredom for many. For some, staying still is the equivalent of being passive.

Being passive and being still are different. Stillness is a choice. In stillness, there is empowerment, clarity, and strength. Staying still allows someone to take in a situation, process the information, gain clear understanding, and formulate a plan based on facts rather than fear.

In stillness there can be no impulsive decision making or panic derived behavior. In stillness, we can be honest with ourselves.

Below, I am listing some ideas for practicing stillness in the course of your working day. As you are putting out fires and dealing with people’s demands and your own anxieties, try these simple steps:

• Close the door to your office for five minutes, sit down or stand, let your body relax, and visualize yourself as a  rock at the edge of the water. Let the waves wash over you. Be strong and still.
• Breathe consciously. The simple act of being aware of your breath and taking deep, cleansing breaths can make a world of a difference for your mental state. Take conscious breathing breaks as often as you can. When a challenge comes your way, don’t jump to action, take a couple of deep breaths, think, and then act.
• If there is a window in your office, take a moment to look outside and take in the view. Allow your vision to expand and take in the big picture.
• Remember what is really important to you; your loved ones, your health, your sanity, your values. Don’t let the irrational behavior of other people determine your quality of being.
• Spend some time outside. Take a short, brisk walk and breathe in some air.

Change is not easy, it is vital. I have long understood that when change needs to happen, it does not ask for permission. Therefore, you may as well make the best of it. So, I am rethinking my vision and my mission as a coach. I am dreaming of projects that can be of further benefit to my clients.

As I go on with my envisioning process, I am becoming aware of how my inner critic comes out to play. Sneaky little fellow. And persistent. But you know what? I can be persistent too. It takes more than my inner critic to stop me when I feel passionate about something.Today I thought we could explore the ways of our inner critic and together brainstorm how to go about dealing with the “creature” once and for all.

Everyone has an inner critic. It is the voice in our head that judges every decision we take, every move we make, and every word that comes out of our mouth. Our inner critic develops really early in life and initially its mission is to make sure we behave in socially acceptable way. As we grow older and depending on many factors and outside influences, the inner critic can become a saboteur. It becomes the voice that criticizes us so harshly that we freeze in time and space.“Whether you think you can or you cannot, you are right” Henry FordI love this quote because it points how powerful the way we talk to ourselves is.

Let’s say the day comes when you become inspired by an idea about a new project or a new direction you would like your business to go. The more you play the scenario in your mind, the more excited and energetic you become.

As the idea matures, you begin to think of ways to make it happen. Plans begin to form in your mind’s eye. There is a surge of energy and a growing sense of adventure. That’s when your inner critic sees an opening and seizes the opportunity to have a chat with you. It has been waiting in the shadows to see how far you will actually go. It may entertain your fantasy as long as it’s not real. Of course, if your inner critic is especially sadistic, it will get you from the get go.

Here is an example of what the voice in your head can start whispering or shouting to you:“Come here my friend. I am hearing some rumors about that great new idea of yours. A new direction you say? Are you serious?You know, that’s not for people like us. Too old, too young, too soon, too late, wrong place. We have responsibilities, we can’t just get up and go. This is not the time. Don’t be selfish, what would your mother, father, wife, husband, children, friends, colleagues, and neighbors say? Get real! Enough with dreaming, we have bills to pay!”

That’s how dreams die. Whether you think you can or you cannot, you are right. Your inner critic wins. Is that what you want? Aren’t you tired of giving in to the voices in your head? Don’t you have enough of feeling frustrated and being at the mercy of the voice that says you are not good enough to have what you want?

My friends, life is too short to live it by the spoonful. There is no reason why you can’t experience joy, fulfillment, and peace of mind every day of your life. Give yourself permission to stand up to your inner critic. Answer back! With a vengeance! Write your dreams down on a piece of paper and post it everywhere you can see it! Say it out loud to yourself in front of the mirror everyday!

Begin to ask open ended questions! How can I make it happen? What do I need to do first? Who can support me in this? What are my alternatives? What resources are available to me? Life is too short to be spent in self-doubt and halfhearted experiments.

What is the best time to start? Today of course! There has never been a better time to take the first step towards making your dream a reality. There has never been a better time to make a commitment to yourself and begin to live differently, if that’s what you want. So, go ahead. Speak your truth. Acknowledge your needs and find a way to get them fulfilled. Feel your self-worth right here and now. Love and support yourself the way you want others to love and support you.

As you read the lines above, what are you experiencing? Is it excitement or is it fear? What is the voice in your head telling you? Pay attention! You are the only one who has the answers to your questions. If you choose to do nothing what will your experience of life be? How has “doing nothing” served you so far? You may have read Albert Einstein’s definition of insanity but here it is anyway: “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results!”

Are your ready to make different choices? If the answer is yes, then it’s time to push your sleeves up and get to work. Time for self-reflection, clarity, and a good deal of research. Don’t let one more day go by when you don’t do something towards making your dream a reality or improving the quality of your life.I will finish this entry with a quote from Hellen Keller.“

Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable.”

To your growing success!

© 2007 Yota Schneider, Open for Success.May be distributed if full attribution is given and copyright notice is included. Contact yota@openforsuccess.com