Living in balance is not about having a myriad balls in the air, at the same time. That’s not balance, that’s juggling. It’s like running uphill constantly, hoping your legs won’t give. At the end of a day’s juggling, one feels out of breath.

A person in balance is hardly ever out of breath because, at any given point, he knows that he is in the right place, at the right time, doing the right thing.

To achieve balance, one has to be willing to drop some balls. It requires clarity and the willingness to put what’s really important ahead of the nonessentials that usually fill our days.

To be clear of what is essential, we need to get to know who we are and who we want to be, in every aspect of our lives. We need to evaluate and decide what activities support or undermine our well being.

It takes no time for things to creep into our daily life and our schedule. That’s why it’s important to review and revise constantly. By keeping a watchful eye, setting clear boundaries and eliminating the nonessentials, we ensure that, what we invest our time and energy in, reflects our priorities and goals.

No aspect of our life and work can ever flourish without our attention. When we work on a project where other people are involved, we make sure to meet and discuss the details, deadlines and progress. We make sure that, every action point and every step we take, brings us closer to the successful completion of the project. When it comes to working on the project of our “life” though, we forget all we know.

Let’s begin by taking a good look at our habits and determine what activities and daily habits qualify as “nonessential.”

Invest 5-10 minutes each day to review and revise. Eliminate the “nonessential” or at least move them to the bottom of your to-do-list…. Give priority to what really matters – at work and at home.

When someone asks you to make a commitment, think carefully before you say “yes.” Saying “no” is a lot easier than you think and pretty soon you’ll be very comfortable doing that.

There is a lot more you can do but for now . . . Stop juggling and be truly productive!

“He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead; his eyes are closed.”

The more I work with people the more I see how caught up we are in an unforgiving pace of being. The art of pausing and taking in the landscape, sort-of-speak, is lost in our to-do lists.

We’ve all had the experience of going through a day and not having a moment to breathe. Even the language we use to describe a day like this, is quite revealing. We say: “I didn’t get the chance to breathe today” or “What a day! I’m out of breath.” How can that be? How can we go through a day without breathing? Let’s see.

How does it feel to go through a day at high speed? Some of the physical symptoms can include anxiety, a sense of not being able to take a deep breath, exhaustion, headache. Emotions can range from annoyance to agitation and resentment. Our ability to focus and be truly effective, is compromised. We may find it difficult to be patient, tolerant or understanding towards other people.

I don’t think our appreciation of life runs high when we’re spinning our wheels, waiting for landing. How can we appreciate the present moment, when we go through our day waiting for when we’ll be somewhere else, doing something completely different?

That’s when the practice of “pausing” can make all the difference.

Pausing, even for five minutes, can drastically change our perspective of the present moment and situation. It’s easier to pause before we react or speak than wishing we could go back in time (rather impossible) and do something differently.

Taking the time to pause and take in the landscape of a situation, a relationship, an exchange can strengthen our mental clarity and empower our decision making in ways we can’t even imagine. Giving ourselves the gift of a few deep breaths in the midst of chaos, can ground us, infuse us with energy, and remind us of everything we have to be grateful for.

Give yourself the gift of pausing throughout your day. Life is not meant to be lived on automatic. Time stretches for people who live every moment to its full capacity. May you be one of them.

We have computers and wireless communication, in general, all the technology we need to help us stay connected 24-7. We are expected to deliver results in less time and at all times. We have fast cars, fast food restaurants, and instant access to more information than we can ever use or need.

We live at dizzying speed and our ability to focus on any one thing for long periods of time is weakening. “Long periods of time?” we ask. Five minutes is all I have to give you.

Under these circumstances it shouldn’t come as a surprise that when I ask my clients what they do to take care of themselves, their answers range from the “I know how to take care of myself but can hardly find the time to do so” to “I don’t have time to take care of myself.”

So, let me understand this. We take our cars for regular check-ups because we understand that if we let it go for too long, the car will break down and will not be able to take us from point A to point B. Plus, if we let it go for too long without maintenance or addressing a specific problem, fixing the problem could cost us a large sum of money.

We perform daily maintenance on our computers because we understand, and some of us have learned the hard way, that if we don’t take care of our computers and back up our work, we can lose hours and hours of work. Or, the system may break down and need replacement and that’s an expensive proposition, never mind the long hours we find ourselves disconnected from the rest of the world.

If our cell phones stop working, we panic. OMG, how can anyone reach us? We feel isolated.

I’m sure by now, you know where I’m heading. We understand the importance of taking good care of our computers, cars, and cell phones, among other things that occupy the food chain of our daily existence. We make time to take good care of them. But, when it comes to our bodies and minds, we push self-care and good maintenance to the back burner.

If our health, state of mind, and quality of emotions start “malfunctioning,” what then? Isn’t it time to start looking at our priorities with a new pair of eyes? Have we gotten it all backwards? What really matters here and what are you going to do about it?

Oops, my time’s up!

Now, I will not sit here and pretend to be a financial wizard. One thing that has always worked for me though, is knowing how much money comes in, where it goes and what my financial priorities are. I find that to be a good starting point.

I treat time the same way. There are twenty-four hours in a day and, nothing I ever do or wish, will ever change that. The next logical question then is: “What do I have control over and what is the best investment of my time?”

When I work with clients who find time management to be a major challenge, the first thing I ask them to do is an inventory of where their time goes daily. Knowledge is power, after all.

Documenting your daily activities in detail, allows you to see clearly how you invest or spend your time and the effect your time choices have on the quality of your life and your sense of well being. When you look at, how your days go and how easily things can get out of hand, it’s easy to see why you may be on the verge of burn out.

Effective time management is close to impossible if we lack the conviction of our values and true priorities. That’s why the next step includes an honest look on what your true priorities are and how they compare with your daily choices. Most people are surprised to see how little their daily activities reflect their life priorities.

By gaining clarity on what we truly value and want to have in life, we become able to make the choices that make every hour of our day time well spent.

It snowed today – a lot!

Gardening is one of the ways I express myself creatively. I grew up watching my grandfather growing roses, tending grapes and fruit trees. In the summer, he used to wake me up early in the morning to go pick up figs for breakfast. At noon, the children used to lie down, in the shade of this huge fig tree that was in our back yard, and nap, while our mothers would sit nearby and gossip or knit – finding respite from the heat.

Why am I telling you all this? Well, my mind works in mysterious ways and I’ve learned not to fight it. I believe that everything has its place in this earth school of ours. Everything we experience finds its proper use in our life’s journey.

As I began daydreaming about my garden and spring in the middle of this cold, snow covered day, I couldn’t help but think of all the lessons my garden has taught me. Here is some of what I’ve learned that applies to life and work:

• Take time to plan before you dig -saves a lot of time, energy, and disappointment;
• Design the garden that pleases you;
• Let the garden show you what it needs – stay flexible;
• Don’t worry about getting your hands dirty;
• Keep up with the weeds or they’ll take over your garden;
• Take your cues from the flowers themselves – if something refuses to thrive – let it go;
• Don’t be afraid to try something new;
• Learn from your mistakes;
• Above all, a garden is meant to be shared and enjoyed – There is always time to stop and smell the roses!

What else can we do? People are losing their jobs, the well is running dry, and the forecast is bleak. How do we go about maintaining our stamina while juggling our lives and not losing ourselves in the process?

Numerous studies suggest that long working hours, the inability to do what one loves and enjoys, and not honoring our personal priorities can lead to burnout. What good is that?

No matter what, we can’t stretch time. There are only 24 hours in a day and 7 days in a week. It becomes then a question of managing ourselves and our energy and not just focusing on managing our time.

It has been observed and documented that when people take care of themselves consistently and “recharge their battery” – sort-of-speak -  they perform better and avoid burnout.

Taking care of your body is a good place to start. Begin with the basics.

• How do you sleep? Do you feel rested when you wake up or not?
• What is your ritual before bedtime? Do you eat late? Do you drink? Do you smoke?
• Do you work up until bedtime?
• Do you tend to go to bed irritated and anxious?

Try all or some of the following and see if it makes a difference in how you feel the day after:

• Eat a healthy meal no later than 8 pm;
• Avoid alcohol and caffeine after 6 pm;
• Take a shower or a bath before bedtime;
• Avoid watching late night TV;
• Do something that helps you relax; Forget about work, it will be there tomorrow;
• Take 10-15 minutes before bedtime to meditate.

As a dear friend once suggested: “Maybe it’s time to do just what’s in front of you; chop wood, carry water and let the world go by.” Every so often, I need to do just that.

So, I focused on my family, my closest friends and my work with existing clients. I only did what was absolutely necessary and what gave me joy. I needed to clear the cobwebs of my mind and trim off the excess, sort of speak.

During this time, I witnessed an old friend’s futile battle with cancer. He was 37 and a father of two. I opened up to the fear, anxiety and confusion that most of us experience these days with everything that’s going on.

My daughters are growing up with lightning speed and I find myself wishing things could slow down a little. Nevertheless, life keeps going, impervious to our little dramas. My parents are aging and friends are going through major life transitions. In the midst of all this, I celebrated my 50th birthday and as one of my daughters pointed out, in her infinite compassion, Wow! I have lived half a century already!

I was looking forward to this stage of my life. I find growing older exhilarating and very liberating. There are definite privileges that come with age and I take full advantage of this little fact. Women my age get this.

There is a lot one learns in fifty years. Like, it’s never too late for a change and fear is one’s worst enemy. Or, whether we choose to be happy or not, life goes on, so we may as well lighten up and do the best we can with what we have.

What have you learned from your life experience and how are you applying these lessons? How often do you make time to be with yourself and have a heart-to-heart with you? There is a wealth of wisdom inside and we often forget to dive in and find the treasure.

It’s important to know how we want this time of the year to be. What do we crave for? What is our heart’s desire? As we go through our days, busy thoughts racing through our minds, what do we wish for?

When we are clear as to our wants and needs, we are more likely to satisfy them. Neglecting to honor our personal needs results in lack of personal balance and satisfaction.

As this year is coming to a close and while preparing for the year to come, honor yourself by engaging in the practice of:

1. Self-awareness. Being aware of how you feel in any given situation and what you truly want, is a gift and an art worth learning. It takes practice, for certain. Most of us haven’t been encouraged to be present within ourselves and honor ourselves. After all, being human is a journey into self-awareness. Imagine the strength that comes from knowing, at any given moment, who you are, what you want, and what you want to do, beyond any reasonable doubt.

   As you go through your day give yourself the gift of pausing and asking: “How do I feel right now?”, “Is this something I want to do or is it something I’m expected to do?”, “What do I want to do instead?”, “Am I willing to do what I want?” You’ll be surprised how little time it takes to do this exercise.

2. Self-acceptance. Children are great teachers in presence of mind and self-acceptance. They seem to know exactly what they want and when they want it by (it’s usually now). They don’t seem to feel self-conscious or guilty for getting their needs and wants met. Adults, are a different story altogether. Whether we have what we want or not, we find a way to torture and reject ourselves and feel guilty on top of it! Are you one of these unfortunate but extremely mainstream adults that engage in self-criticism as often as you get the chance? Try some good old fashioned forgiveness and kindness towards the only person that will always be there for you, no matter what: Yourself!
3. Self-love. Am I pushing it? It blows my mind that we actually think we can love others without loving ourselves first. Our relationship with ourselves is an ongoing exercise in learning to love, unconditionally. Isn’t that how humans have been wired to love? So, let’s practice some self-love this season and for seasons to come.

See yourself for who you are, accept yourself, and feel love and compassion for the person you are, for all you have been and all you are meant to be.

I was talking to a young woman yesterday. She is twenty-four years old, very bright, beautiful, and a genuine mover and shaker. She had just changed jobs and we were talking about her process. I shared my experience of climbing the corporate ladder only to find out – as I was turning forty – that I wasn’t willing to keep paying the price for corporate success. Living a life of inner conflict wasn’t for me.

She listened to me and then began telling me how she and most of her friends are already concerned about living a life that’s infused with purpose. They want to know who they are, what their role is, how they can best contribute, and they are not willing to play the game their parents played for the longest time.

I am so proud of these young people. They are “getting it” so much faster than our generation. They are not afraid to say no to the old belief systems and they don’t hesitate to challenge the status quo and introduce change.

I’m not sure but I can safely guess that most people don’t take the time to think what it is they want in life. Life somehow happens. Not that life wouldn’t happen anyway. Life has a way of happening despite of what we think we want. Most of the time we get what we need. If we’re lucky and we’ve done our work then our wants and needs are aligned.

For me, a healthy life is a life free of inner conflict. When we live our lives on automatic, never bothering to check in with our hearts or our spirit, and make sure that we are in the right place, at the right time, with the right people, then misalignment and inner conflict are unavoidable.

If, for example, you are in a relationship that doesn’t support you and you keep going, for whatever the reason, your heart eventually will rebel. Your mind will be giving you all the reasons why you should stay in the relationship but your heart will keep needling you, whispering why you should go. You may choose to ignore your heart and obey your fears and insecurities. Eventually your body will pay the price for this conflict. Some kind of physical discomfort will appear.

Or, you may be in a work situation that goes against who you are. Every day you go to work and something inside just doesn’t feel right. Somewhere deep down you feel that you’re selling out. You want what this job offers – money, power, social status etc.- but you are paying the price to get all that. You may be paying the price of ignoring your dreams, missing out on time with your family, not having time for yourself. How long before your health is affected?

When is the right time to make a change? Is waiting for some time in the far future to live a healthy life a wise choice?

1. You don’t like the nature of the task and you consider it a waste of  time. The task maybe boring or time consuming. You just don’t want to do it and that’s that.

Figure out what it is you don’t like about the task or the project. Think of alternative ways of dealing with it. Delegate it, ask for help, or find a way to get it off your plate once and for all. If all else fails, break the task into smaller steps, schedule time to tackle each step at a time, and reward yourself for completing the cycle. Find a way to motivate yourself and make it interesting.

2. You’re afraid of the outcome.

Consider the possibility that you may be afraid of what it means to complete this project. Is there something that’s working behind the scenes that you are not clear about? Are your concerns realistic? Are you making things worse by procrastinating?

3. You may not feel equipped to do something well.

Think about the project or task and be honest with yourself. Are you concerned that you may not do a good job with this project? If the answer is yes, identify the area of concern and think of the resources that you have at your disposal. Are your fears realistic? Is there someone you can go to for additional guidance and support? Would it be worth passing the project to someone else?

4. You lack the resources.

Think it through. Make a list of what you need to complete the task or project. Identify what additional resources you need. Get everything you need in place and schedule time to complete the project. If you can delegate parts of the work, then delegate it!

5. You think that by avoiding something it will just go away.

By now, experience has taught you that you can’t bet on this one. It could go away but how can you be sure? Is it worth the risk? Read reasons 1-4 and see if there is anything there that’s of use to you.

6. You like the rush of going up against a deadline.

Take a mental journey into your past and determine whether leaving things for the last minute is a habit of yours. If it is, accept it and ask yourself whether you are willing to keep up with this pattern. Is it worth the rush? Are you ready to make different choices? It’s up to you.

7. There is something you get by not completing the task that you are not aware of.

It’s possible that procrastinating with a particular project or task is the clue to something bigger. Is this a project you should be doing? Does it serve your original intention or personal goals? Does this project hold a message for you? It’s worth finding out!

The key to dealing with unproductive habits is not beating yourself up or avoiding the truth altogether. Take some time, think it through, and get to the bottom of it.  You’ll be amazed.

As you go through your day, there are people to talk to, decisions to be made, projects to review, and problems to solve. Events will transpire that will distract you, demand your attention, drain your energy, and eat up your time. You will try to focus on what’s right in front of you but. . . what about the “unfinished” business?

What about the items that linger in the back of your mind? You know what I mean. I am talking about procrastination; the items on your to-do-list that have not yet been accomplished but are hanging in there, gnawing at you!

Things like the bill you forgot to pay, the phone call you dread to return, the expense report that was due last week, the broken appliance that needs to be fixed, the doctor’s appointment that keeps getting pushed back, the difficult conversation you need to have with a colleague, a family member, or a friend.

I am not writing all this to depress you. Unfinished business can drain your energy and darken your spirit even before you get out of bed in the morning. Unfinished business lingers in the back of your mind, works on your subconscious, and eats you up until you do something about it.

What to do? The simplest and fastest way to bring these items out of hiding and into the light is to write them down. Take five minutes and write down everything that you have been putting off. When you finish writing, take a deep breath, and scan your body and your mind. Do you feel lighter?

Writing down what’s on your mind frees space and energy for you. Instead of allowing your fear of something to control your actions, you are able to examine it from a distance and make a decision.

Look at your list, pick one thing you can do right now, and do it! We can talk at length about why we procrastinate, how we allow things to get out of hand, and what unfinished business really is all about, but that’s for another entry. For now, pick one thing, and do it!

1. Do you always feel you don’t have enough time?
2. Are you working on too many projects at once?
3. Do you procrastinate and then push to get something done at the last minute?
4. Have you been dropping the ball lately and forgetting things?
5. Are you on edge emotionally?

If you answered yes to at least four of the five questions, chances are you are running on adrenaline.

“Adrenaline is a hormone produced in high-stress or physically exhilarating situations by the adrenal gland in our body. The term “fight or flight” is often used to characterize the circumstances under which adrenaline is released into the body. It is an early evolutionary adaptation to allow better coping with dangerous and unexpected situations.”

Research shows that it’s important to “work off” the adrenaline that is being released into our system when we experience stressful situations. Failing to do so results in high amounts of adrenaline staying in the body which, in turn, results to “insomnia, anxiety, depression, and a suppressed immune system.”

Now that we got the scientific part over with, it’s safe to say that people can become addicted to this “adrenaline rush.” It becomes a habit and many use it to get through the day and accomplish all that is expected of them.

If you are one of these people, consider the following:

• Evaluate your commitments and let go of some. Consider that not every commitment is created equal.
• Review your schedule. See how you can shift things around to create time for uninterrupted work and planning.
• Evaluate your work habits. Are you good at delegating or do you pride yourself in getting the job done better and faster on your own?
• Minimize distractions. Don’t pick-up your phone every time it rings. Resist checking e-mail constantly and instead check email at regular intervals.
• Communicate your needs and expectations.
• Make sure you eat healthy. Keep nutritious snacks in the office.
• Make time for physical activity and exercise. Take a walk between meetings, before or after lunch, breathe some fresh air and clear your head.
• Give your mind a break; listen to relaxation tapes; read something other than work documents, look outside your window and notice what’s there.
• If all else fails, you can at least remember to take a few deep breaths before and after you engage in adrenaline producing behaviors.

Give it a try! Your body will thank you and the people around you will begin to exhale too.

I thought a lot about our personal stories as I read. We go on living our lives, going through the motions, dealing with unexpected events, checking off our to-do lists, and crossing paths with other people. Somehow morning turns into evening and we don’t know where the hours went.

When I stop and think that the present moment is all I have and I allow myself to be present, I realize how much of my life I have lived on automatic. I don’t like that. There is richness in every day living. I find that when I live in the past or constantly agonize over the future, I forget to recognize and appreciate the present.

I have also noticed that time stretches when I live in the moment. When my mind is not racing, thinking about what’s next or engaging in what has happened, I am at peace, I am focused, and I accomplish all I need to accomplish right on time.

I have come to believe that we have all the time we need in order to accomplish what we need to accomplish. This perspective involves acceptance for what is, presence of mind, right action, and the ability to know when to say no.

Don’t just shake your head, try it!

The people who come to me are tired of going on automatic and getting nowhere fast. They want to live a life of purpose, they want to be fulfilled at work,  they want to contribute and make a difference in the world.

As we begin to look at their dreams, their personal gifts and talents, and the belief systems that define them, we unfailingly come to the point when they are asked to make different choices and let go of old beliefs and unproductive habits.

The idea that the quest for purpose, balance, and quality of life culminates to a job title or a career path is a myth. Work is what we do and not who we are. Purpose and fulfillment have a lot to do with who we are and what our experience of life is rather than what we do for a living.

Easier said than done! We have been brainwashed from an early age to identify with what we do and gain our sense of self-esteem and self-worth from it. There is nothing wrong, of course, with performing our jobs with passion and commitment to excellence, but when our well being depends on our jobs. . .  Houston! We got a problem!

The what will always be subject to change. Things change, constantly. Career paths and jobs are not set in stone.

On the other hand, clarifying and focusing on who we want to be as we experience life’s ups and downs can keep us steady on course. Who we want to be, no matter what goes on outside of ourselves, can serve as our compass as we sail through stormy waters or calm seas.

Taking the time to shape a clear vision of the person you want to be is a worthy investment and will serve your life’s journey well.

People are reacting and there is a lot of talking going on. The more I hear people talk and the more I read, the more I think that once again, we are asked to go beyond the obvious and get in touch with who we really are and what our life priorities are.

I can’t help seeing the current crisis as a course adjustment. Somewhere along the way we took the wrong turn and got lost in minutiae. Too much of life became about acquisition and the race to the top. Now, don’t get me wrong. I believe in being successful. I also believe in being able to define success for ourselves and not let others define it for us.

Change gives us the opportunity to evaluate our ways, make adjustments, and discover new possibilities. The other day, a friend shared with me that she “tends to see problems as opportunities” and that’s how she has been able to adapt and succeed in the ever-changing business landscape.

What a great outlook! We can all use a shift in perspective now and then. We live in exhilarating times. We need to rise above anxiety and fear and get in touch with the greater part of ourselves, act in meaningful ways, and make a difference in this world.

Coping with change and being faced with uncertainty doesn’t mean that we have to give up the idea of living the life we want to live. It doesn’t mean we have to give up our dreams or expectations. On the contrary, it’s at times like this that we need to stay focused and deliberate.

What do we do? Do we lay low and play it safe? Do we give up our dreams and let our fears do the talking? Or, do we strengthen our resolve, become clearer than ever as to who we want to be, and make the adjustments we need to make, in order to live our best life?

Experts are coming out of the woodwork, giving us the latest information on how much people are planning to spend – or not spend – for the holidays and dispensing advice on the numerous ways to cut back on expenses.

Suddenly people are even showing interest in cooking, as a way of saving money while battling obesity and spending quality time with the family. There are all kinds of theories and a great sense of urgency.

Thank God for the financial crisis to make people appreciate home cooking. I have to admit that one is my favorite. You see, I have been cooking for twenty-four years and still going strong. Nobody has to convince me on the benefits of home cooking. I am a stickler for ingredients and flavor. At this point, my family would go on a hunger strike if I opted out for take-out. And, I love my family.

I wish people exhibited the same sense of urgency over the latest news that “90,000 of New York City’s elementary school students missed at least a month of class during the last school year.” Or, over the findings that”individuals ages 15 to 19 read for an average of 16  minutes per weekend day, while spending 47 minutes playing games or using a computer for leisure.”

Anyone surprised that we are facing a financial crisis?

People who don’t have good self-care habits to begin with, find it almost impossible to take care of themselves at times of extreme stress. Health matters. Living with stress, not sleeping or eating well, not exercising, and always focusing on the negative will not make you more effective or solve your problems.

As you are reading this, take a deep breath and scan your body. Feel how the stress is affecting you. Where in your body do you hold the stress? What kind of thoughts do you have? What kind of self-talk do you indulge in? Are fear and anxiety rendering you helpless? Giving in to negative thinking will only result to more of the same.

Let’s start by taking inventory of what is good with your life. Hold on to it. Crisis will come and go. The one thing we can all depend on, is change. What matters most is you, your health, and those you love. Take care of these assets.

Pay yourself first!

• Take the time for a walk without a destination. As you walk, breathe and look around. Take it all in and appreciate the present moment.
• Exercise.
• Sit down for a meal. I remember when I was in corporate, there were days when I forgot to eat. Then my blood sugar would go down and I couldn’t think straight. Eat something healthy. Don’t go for the quick fix. That’s what puts most of us into trouble anyway.
• Laugh! Nothing like a good laugh to help us relax and shake anxiety.
• Talk to the people who make you feel good.
• Play with your kids, tell them how much you love them.
• Take some down time and read a good book or watch a good movie.
• Help someone who needs your help. Nothing like being useful to someone else for putting things into perspective.
• Reflect on your past experience. No matter how bad things may look, most of us have been there before and we are still standing.

How do you stay healthy in stressful times? Go ahead and share.

The average person in an office is interrupted almost six times an hour, all day long. Six times an hour!

Most people I talk to feel helpless when it comes to handling interruptions. People often complain about how much longer it takes to complete a task because of getting interrupted all the time. So, what can you do to help yourself stay focused and complete your tasks?

To begin with, it’s important to know what or who interrupts you the most in the course of a day. Is your main source of interruption other people, your own working habits, or both?

If it’s other people who constantly come to you with questions, requests, or just to chat, consider how you can minimize interruptions without undermining your relationships and effectiveness at work.

•  Schedule regular, short, meetings with your staff during which your can review the work load, check on progress, and answer questions
• Suggest that people bunch their questions together instead of coming to you every time they have something to ask
• Utilize email more effectively. Suggest that people email you a list of questions and promise to reply by a certain time in the day
• Let your staff know when it’s not a good time to interrupt. Open-door policy promotes communication and it doesn’t mean that you have to be at the mercy of everyone who decides to walk through your door
• When people come to you and it’s not a good time, let them know and give them an alternative time when they can have your undivided attention
• Model the behavior you expect from others and don’t interrupt your staff constantly
• Allow time for interruptions throughout your day
• Allow time for social interaction.

If, on the other hand, your own habits, such as constantly checking email or always picking up the phone when it rings, are becoming a nuisance, try:

• Checking your email and voice mail at specific times of the day. For example, when you first go to the office, before and after lunch, and around 3 pm
• Schedule 5-15 minute time periods throughout your day to reply to messages. You will be amazed at how much you can accomplish in 5 minutes
• When you email or leave a voice mail for someone else, be very specific as to why you are calling, what you want, and when you want it by
• Discipline yourself to get back on task as soon as you are through with an interruption.

Are you facing the challenge of being constantly interrupted and how do you handle it?

Experts advise us to stay still and not panic. Sounds like common sense to me. Staying still! Quite a concept. How many of us can stay still? Stillness equals boredom for many. For some, staying still is the equivalent of being passive.

Being passive and being still are different. Stillness is a choice. In stillness, there is empowerment, clarity, and strength. Staying still allows someone to take in a situation, process the information, gain clear understanding, and formulate a plan based on facts rather than fear.

In stillness there can be no impulsive decision making or panic derived behavior. In stillness, we can be honest with ourselves.

Below, I am listing some ideas for practicing stillness in the course of your working day. As you are putting out fires and dealing with people’s demands and your own anxieties, try these simple steps:

• Close the door to your office for five minutes, sit down or stand, let your body relax, and visualize yourself as a  rock at the edge of the water. Let the waves wash over you. Be strong and still.
• Breathe consciously. The simple act of being aware of your breath and taking deep, cleansing breaths can make a world of a difference for your mental state. Take conscious breathing breaks as often as you can. When a challenge comes your way, don’t jump to action, take a couple of deep breaths, think, and then act.
• If there is a window in your office, take a moment to look outside and take in the view. Allow your vision to expand and take in the big picture.
• Remember what is really important to you; your loved ones, your health, your sanity, your values. Don’t let the irrational behavior of other people determine your quality of being.
• Spend some time outside. Take a short, brisk walk and breathe in some air.

“Work-family balance issues are often viewed as trade-offs implying deprivation or loss. Women struggle just as men do, she said, in figuring out what they want to create and what their platinum standards are.”

If there is any time when we can clearly see the manifestation of our inner conflict, the social battle of Create vs. Acquire, our time is as good as any. Driven by the desire to acquire, we can easily forget the kind of life we wanted to create for ourselves and our families.

It’s not easy, making the choices that serve our life’s priorities, goals, and values. Often, it feels like standing up to the good old “bully” archetype. Only this time around, we are not in the school yard. As adults, we are playing in a much larger playground. The “bully” takes the form of social pressure and the conflicting messages in our heads.

Making choices without deeply thinking how they can affect the quality of our lives and our relationships, is a lot like doing the same old thing and expecting different results. We have to be ever watchful of what motivates our actions.

If it sounds like a lot of work, well, that’s because it is. Our reward for this kind of inner work though is a life well lived. What is a life well lived worth to you?