Always loved this title

A few years ago I took a trip to New Mexico and visited the cliffs of Puye. I remember standing on top of a cliff, outside a cave dwelling and looking out. The view was vast, clear and powerful. It must have been easy to feel humble standing up there. There were trees for as far out as I could see and a blue, blue sky that made my breath stop. It was a gift.

We go from one thing to the next, hardly any time to loose. Often, we can’t see the forest for the trees. We loose the ability to take in the view, appreciate what is and evaluate our position.

To rise above the hustle and bustle is to give ourselves permission to see clearly. Our view of life expands, our perspective changes and our experience of the present moment becomes transformed.

We owe it to ourselves to go on higher ground and look around. As our eyes adjust to the distance and our breath becomes deeper, our body relaxes and our thoughts slow down. We become one with the vista and a deep appreciation rises.

The day to day minutia loosen their grip on our psyche and we feel relaxed. At times like this, anything can happen. Inspiration, new found joy, a smile, a vision of limitless possibilities.

Why not take a break, go to a place where you can stand, alone, and look out. Stay for a few moments, just you and what’s in front of you. Breathe in and out, feel the breeze, smell the air, expand. Let your mind rest, slow down, and see what happens next.

I managed to resist paying attention to all the hoopla about LeBron James. Not interested! Until Dan Gilbert’s petty letter started circulating the web that is. I caught a glimpse of a couple of paragraphs and that’s when I tuned in. There are many aspects of this that rub me the wrong way but then again, what’s new?

Then, there is the story about Nirupama Pathak, a 22 year old Indian woman found dead in her bedroom. Her death is considered an honor killing and her mother has been arrested as the prime suspect. It appears this young woman had violated the rules of her caste and class by falling in love with a man of lower caste.

These two stories began to intertwine in my head. On one hand a basketball superstar being trashed all over the internet for choosing something other than what his “tribe” wanted him to choose. On the other hand, a young woman of 22 being murdered for following her heart.

Perils of tribal behavior is all I can think about. Our expectations of each other, the burden and pressure imposed on so many people by their “tribe.”

Whether it’s the tribe we were born in, or the tribe that adopted us along the way, the tribe we created or became part of, whether it’s family, work, social group . . . does it really matter? The basics remain the same. Conform or else.

How many dreams have died in the process? How many lives compromised? What is the true cost of the unbearable influence of the tribe? Where do we – as individuals – stand? How much of who we think we are is a mere reinterpretation of our tribal rules and regulations?

I suspect that so many of the rules we live by are nothing but payback for generations of lost dreams and aspirations.

Robert Frost comes to mind these days.

“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I–
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.”

It’s all about the choices we make, isn’t it?

I read through a few entries. The author has definitely a lot to offer, she’s generous and funny and straight forward. What struck me though was the language. Vulgar? Yes! One reads through it and feels an intimate connection with the author. You can easily imagine talking to a good friend who’s sharing her frustration over a cup of coffee. I guess it works because – did I mention? There are 24,000 readers following this blog!

Am I the only one thinking that manners matter? I don’t believe so. Language is art. Words carry energy and vibrations that affect people on much deeper levels that we know or comprehend. Call me an old-fashioned gal but I tend to choose my words carefully.

I keep thinking, “How far do I have to go to capture the attention of a very inattentive audience? Is this what it takes to grab people’s attention these days? Do I have to share the most intimate details of my life in foul language to make people pay attention to what I have to say?” No matter how I toss this coin, it always comes up the same.

Do I want to have 24,000 people following my blog? Yes! Am I willing to follow the trend of the day and join the rat race of shock and awe? No!

When it’s all said and written, being myself is all I can be!

People shared the challenges and dilemmas they face when it comes to self-care. They jumped in to support one another and in doing so, they proved how wise, knowing, willing and generous they are  . . . when it comes to others.

It’s not that we don’t know how to exercise self-care, we just don’t do it. Somewhere along the way, pushing our needs in the back burner, became a life forming habit!

It got me thinking about respect.

• What does it mean to have respect for someone or something?
• What about self-respect? How does that feel?
• Can you think of the last time you felt respect?
• Is your sense of respect based on the values you learned as children or did you develop your own brand of respect along the way?

Here’s what I came up with:

• Relax – open up to who you’re with, the situation, your surroundings
• Engage – be an active and willing participant
• Simplify – eliminate background noise and clutter-  see clearly
• Pay attention – stay present – observe – take it in
• Enjoy – give yourself permission to feel the joy that’s yours
• Care – for whatever and whoever needs your attention
• Trust – yourself in this very moment!

I saw this tv ad about the “isle of the flightless birds.”

It’s the  concept of the “flightless birds” that has stayed with me.

I find myself thinking, “What does it mean to be a flightless bird?” Is it a bird that has never flown or a bird that can’t fly? Why is that? How does it feel being a flightless bird? How can that ever be?

A bird is born to take flight. What a strange feeling, living the life of one who is meant to fly but never does!

Does a flightless bird live its days looking up in the sky, wishing it could reach it? Does it waddle around, stuck on the earth, always dreaming of incredible heights, of feeling the wind on its wings?

What about people? What about those who go through life dreaming of flying and never quite take off. Always dreaming, never flying. What holds them back? Is it fear, doubt or both? Does it become natural after a while?

I began this morning by inviting people to keep it simple for today and choose their disruptions wisely.

A meeting I had in the morning, finished earlier than I expected, my to-do-list was moving along nicely and by early afternoon, I found myself with time in my hands. I should have known there was trouble around the corner.

I decided that I wanted to change some things on my website and took to task. The website designer I have worked with for almost ten years, is wonderful and very supportive. Over the years she has given me much more leeway that’s good for me. Keep reading and you’ll see why I say that!

All in all, it took me less than ten minutes to get into trouble. Whether the code I altered was small or not, the website looked like it got hit by a hurricane. No, wait, it did get hit by a hurricane . . .Me!

I called Terry and she took care of it within minutes. Never once did she seem annoyed -  and she had every right to be. When it was all said and done, I was left aware of the simple fact that not only I hadn’t chosen my disruptions wisely but I had created unnecessary drama for somebody else.

Here’s what I was reminded of today:

• Busy work is just that . . . busy work. It undermines our focus and peace of mind without contributing to the quality of our life or the accomplishment of our goals;
• Disruptions are like pebbles thrown on a calm pond. You throw one in and it creates ripples. The drama we create doesn’t just disrupt our life but the life of those close to us;
• Free time is a gift. It is to be honored and used wisely; and
• Some things are meant to be delegated to those who know better.

From the mouths of babes . . . although, please don’t let my daughters know I called them this way.

We went ahead to have a conversation about advertising and marketing and how misleading ads can be. Then, I sat down to write this.

How many number one movies can there be, how many “Best” cars or “Best ever?” whatever?

These days, I consider myself lucky, if the person I’m dealing with actually does what they said they were going to do. That is, without me having to call another two times and speak to another five people, in God knows what continent, before my problem is solved. Or, wasting my time, trying to outsmart a computer asking me questions, so I can speak to a living, breathing person who may or may not be able to help me.

It seems to me we’re so consumed with coming up with the jazziest way to say things, that we don’t bother to check whether, what we claim, is true. Why bother with the facts? As long as we sound smart, we’re OK.

Too many promises, too little results. Wouldn’t it be better if we spoke our truth and then invested our time and energy in fulfilling our promises and putting our efforts where our mouth is?

When do we know we’re playing hide-and-go-seek with success?

Can it be when we don’t take the time (because who has time for trivia anyway?) to spell it out for ourselves?

Do we know what a successful business . . . a successful life look like? Or, is it, other people’s beliefs of what success is, that define us?

What is success? How does it look, smell, feel? How is success measured in your work, in your life, or is it possible to keep the two separate?

“Good questions but guess what . . .  I got to go now.” “Got to surf the net, check on what other people are saying on Twitter, go see what’s in the fridge one more time.”

You know what I’m talking about. It’s when we know we should follow up with the two potential clients we met last night, or sit down and review our numbers and get a plan going . . .  but instead we choose to hide (Yes, Hide!) behind whatever distractions come our way in the course of the day. Is it self-sabotage, self-doubt,  being distracted or all of the above?

Distractions come wrapped in pretty little packages. You don’t know it’s gonna blow your focus out of the water, until you open the package.

Distractions are plentiful. They can derail our day, undermine our goals and affect the quality of our life. They can send a business spinning into oblivion.

What’s your poison?

• Internet browsing, texting, talking on the phone, or checking voicemail every half hour?
• Eating, drinking, shopping, or TV watching?
• Saying Yes when you should say No and mean it?
• Living in the future, living in the past or wishing you were elsewhere? OR
• Comparing yourself to someone else and always coming up short?

Face the facts and change your picture!

• What’s the cost of distraction?
• Fed up or not yet?
• Ready to get ahead of the curve, the competition, the voice in your head that holds you back?
• Pumped up and ready to let go of your distractions?
• Make your list and don’t waiver. Show the world what you’re made of.
• Think big, state your intention, write it down, paint it, draw it, post it where you can see it.
• Let your choices reflect your priorities and who you want to be. Every day!
• Celebrate your victories, be gentle with your setbacks and ruthless with your time boundaries.
• Remember, every day is a day when opportunity can come knocking at your door. Open it!

More often that not, small changes in our daily routine can result in increased energy and confidence.

Join me in this teleclass and get the opportunity to:

• Evaluate your current daily habits;
• Uncover the hidden costs of unproductive habits;
• Determine what fuels your energy;
• Discuss how saying “No” can be an act of self-care;
• Explore specific changes you can make to increase your energy and sense of well being.

Every day is a fresh start and a chance to do something different. Reserve your spot for this teleclass, today. This can be the beginning of a wonderful friendship – with yourself, that is!

When: Thursday, June 24

12pm-1pm EST

Register by June 21st.

Upon registration, you will receive an email with call-in details and class handouts.

Q.

What a great question! Those of us who face this dilemma, raise your hands! There are many ways to approach this and just by looking at how many books are written on the subject, we can easily say it’s a common struggle.

Let’s begin by accepting the simple fact that being ourselves is much easier than trying to be someone else. It’s important to know who we are and to recognize what comes natural and easy to us. That’s a good starting point when thinking about marketing. When we are comfortable in our own skin; when we have fun and we enjoy what we’re doing, we become attractive to those around us.

There is homework to be done and you have to be clear about:

1. The benefits and value of your product/service,
2. Who your ideal client/audience is, and
3. What needs of your ideal client your product/service addresses and how.

If you passionately believe in what you offer, then you are in a very good position to being successful with your marketing.

Let’s say you have all of the above in place and you still find it hard to talk about what you do and close the sale. This is a good time for a heart-to-heart chat with yourself. Is there an underlying belief system that undermines your efforts? Is there something lurking behind the scenes that sneaks out and introduces self-doubt into the equation? Is it fear, lack of confidence, doubt, old tapes playing? Is it time to discard the old and commit to something new?

Remember, passion and enthusiasm are contagious. Sometimes, I think we get too uptight and serious when it comes to marketing. Yes, it can be intimidating but the best antidote is to have fun with it. Don’t worry much about the outcome. Didn’t Woody Allen say that 85% of success is showing up? Go ahead, show up and show them who you are and what you have to offer. Be yourself and show the world your greatness.

Those who need what you have to offer will ask for more. They will show interest, they will ask questions, they’ll want to know more. That’s your cue. Go for it. Marketing is like dancing. When we dance, we don’t think about it. We let go and let our body follow the music and respond to our partner. Have fun, stay light and dance your way  to success!

If you’ve ever taken the time to go through your file system and get rid of all the paperwork you have collected throughout the years, then you can relate to what I’m saying.

Clearing emotional and physical clutter gives one the sense of lightness and renewed energy and enthusiasm.

Where to start? Choose one area of your life that has been in the forefront of your mind. What would you like done?

• Are you fed up with how much paper is piled on top of your desk? Put a timer for 10-15 minutes, grab a pile and go through it. Recycle what you can, discard what you don’t want, and do something about the rest. Don’t think too much, just go through it.
• Is your filing cabinet overflowing? Don’t look at the whole thing unless you’re ready to put a few hours or days worth of work in it. If all you have is 15 minutes, open the first drawer, take out the first three folders and go through them. Again, recycle, discard, re-file what needs to stay. Repeat the process the next day.
• Look around your space. Are there items laying around that just clutter your space? Be merciless. Take a bag and clear the surfaces. Don’t forget to put the bag in the trash.
• Go through your closet. If it doesn’t fit or you just don’t like it anymore, get rid of it. Donate, discard, de-clutter. Make room for the new.
• Look through your refrigerator. What needs to go to the compost pile? Do it, the very moment you lay eyes on it. While you’re at it, think of the diet adjustments you want to make for the new season.
• Consider your daily routine. Do you find yourself lingering at the computer, checking your e-mail every half hour, and browsing through the internet without a specific goal or intention? Do the computer and the internet serve as distraction and time wasters at times?
• Identify your emotional drains. Are there people or situations in your life that make you feel drained and tense? Are you tired of feeling this way? What would you like instead? Is it time to introduce better boundaries or even let go and move on?

This is the season for new beginnings. It’s a time of growth, nurturing, and enjoyment. We just have to give ourselves permission to engage. Go for it!

I remember at the beginning of my corporate career, the constant state of frenzy and adrenaline rush.

On certain days of the month, I had to drive to Boston, three hours each way, to be at a meeting. I would sit in this two-hour meeting thinking of everything that had to be done and wondering why on earth I was there in the first place. I ended up working weekends or late nights, trying to catch up. Somethings we have control over and some we don’t.

Getting back to the three hour drive to Boston. I somehow had convinced myself that it would only take me two and a half hours to get there. We can analyze why that was or we can just accept the fact. I was convinced that it would take me two and a half hours, period! The meetings would be scheduled for eight or nine in the morning. That, of course, meant . . . morning traffic! Try getting into Boston at that time in the morning. It can be hell.

Best case scenario, I would arrive there right as the meeting was starting. No time for me to settle down, take a deep breath, relax after a long drive, or acclimate myself to my environment.

Worse case scenario, I was 10-15 minutes late. Major embarrassment. Did people know I had a three hour drive? Yes, they did. Did they understand I had to leave the house at five in the morning? Yes, they did. Did it matter? No!

It didn’t take me long to realize that I had to address this before it became a problem. I loved my job and I respected my colleagues. I couldn’t say no to the meetings. I had to change how I approached this. Living under the stress and going on adrenaline was affecting my health. Not an option.

I had learned by then, that even a small change can make a difference. I started by facing the fact that getting to Boston takes closer to three hours. Then, I began to schedule time for travel and transition. When I penciled in a meeting, I also included time for travel plus fifteen minutes. This practice allowed me room to breathe, settle down and deal with the unexpected when it happened – which often did!

Trying to squeeze as many things as possible in a tight time frame makes us inefficient and causes us stress and anxiety. How effective can we be then? Not much.

When you schedule a meeting, pencil in extra time for travel (before and after), preparation and for dealing with the unexpected. The amount of time for travel is up to you, as long as you don’t convince yourself that it takes you less than it takes. Schedule fifteen minutes to breathe and gather your thoughts. You’ll be a lot more productive when you take time to get into the mindset for that particular meeting, review your strategy and even touch base with the “players” before the actual meeting.

If you are one of those people who run from one thing to another with no time to catch your breath, you may want to rethink how you go about the little things. Just because things have always been a certain way, it doesn’t mean that’s the only way to go about it.

Living in balance is not about having a myriad balls in the air, at the same time. That’s not balance, that’s juggling. It’s like running uphill constantly, hoping your legs won’t give. At the end of a day’s juggling, one feels out of breath.

A person in balance is hardly ever out of breath because, at any given point, he knows that he is in the right place, at the right time, doing the right thing.

To achieve balance, one has to be willing to drop some balls. It requires clarity and the willingness to put what’s really important ahead of the nonessentials that usually fill our days.

To be clear of what is essential, we need to get to know who we are and who we want to be, in every aspect of our lives. We need to evaluate and decide what activities support or undermine our well being.

It takes no time for things to creep into our daily life and our schedule. That’s why it’s important to review and revise constantly. By keeping a watchful eye, setting clear boundaries and eliminating the nonessentials, we ensure that, what we invest our time and energy in, reflects our priorities and goals.

No aspect of our life and work can ever flourish without our attention. When we work on a project where other people are involved, we make sure to meet and discuss the details, deadlines and progress. We make sure that, every action point and every step we take, brings us closer to the successful completion of the project. When it comes to working on the project of our “life” though, we forget all we know.

Let’s begin by taking a good look at our habits and determine what activities and daily habits qualify as “nonessential.”

Invest 5-10 minutes each day to review and revise. Eliminate the “nonessential” or at least move them to the bottom of your to-do-list…. Give priority to what really matters – at work and at home.

When someone asks you to make a commitment, think carefully before you say “yes.” Saying “no” is a lot easier than you think and pretty soon you’ll be very comfortable doing that.

There is a lot more you can do but for now . . . Stop juggling and be truly productive!

“He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead; his eyes are closed.”

The more I work with people the more I see how caught up we are in an unforgiving pace of being. The art of pausing and taking in the landscape, sort-of-speak, is lost in our to-do lists.

We’ve all had the experience of going through a day and not having a moment to breathe. Even the language we use to describe a day like this, is quite revealing. We say: “I didn’t get the chance to breathe today” or “What a day! I’m out of breath.” How can that be? How can we go through a day without breathing? Let’s see.

How does it feel to go through a day at high speed? Some of the physical symptoms can include anxiety, a sense of not being able to take a deep breath, exhaustion, headache. Emotions can range from annoyance to agitation and resentment. Our ability to focus and be truly effective, is compromised. We may find it difficult to be patient, tolerant or understanding towards other people.

I don’t think our appreciation of life runs high when we’re spinning our wheels, waiting for landing. How can we appreciate the present moment, when we go through our day waiting for when we’ll be somewhere else, doing something completely different?

That’s when the practice of “pausing” can make all the difference.

Pausing, even for five minutes, can drastically change our perspective of the present moment and situation. It’s easier to pause before we react or speak than wishing we could go back in time (rather impossible) and do something differently.

Taking the time to pause and take in the landscape of a situation, a relationship, an exchange can strengthen our mental clarity and empower our decision making in ways we can’t even imagine. Giving ourselves the gift of a few deep breaths in the midst of chaos, can ground us, infuse us with energy, and remind us of everything we have to be grateful for.

Give yourself the gift of pausing throughout your day. Life is not meant to be lived on automatic. Time stretches for people who live every moment to its full capacity. Be one of them!

We have computers and wireless communication, in general, all the technology we need to help us stay connected 24-7. We are expected to deliver results in less time and at all times. We have fast cars, fast food restaurants, and instant access to more information than we can ever use or need.

We live at dizzying speed and our ability to focus on any one thing for long periods of time is weakening. “Long periods of time?” we ask. Five minutes is all I have to give you.

Under these circumstances it shouldn’t come as a surprise that when I ask my clients what they do to take care of themselves, their answers range from the “I know how to take care of myself but can hardly find the time to do so” to “I don’t have time to take care of myself.”

So, let me understand this. We take our cars for regular check-ups because we understand that if we let it go for too long, the car will break down and will not be able to take us from point A to point B. Plus, if we let it go for too long without maintenance or addressing a specific problem, fixing the problem could cost us a large sum of money.

We perform daily maintenance on our computers because we understand, and some of us have learned the hard way, that if we don’t take care of our computers and back up our work, we can lose hours and hours of work. Or, the system may break down and need replacement and that’s an expensive proposition, never mind the long hours we find ourselves disconnected from the rest of the world.

If our cell phones stop working, we panic. OMG, how can anyone reach us? We feel isolated.

I’m sure by now, you know where I’m heading. We understand the importance of taking good care of our computers, cars, and cell phones, among other things that occupy the food chain of our daily existence. We make time to take good care of them. But, when it comes to our bodies and minds, we push self-care and good maintenance to the back burner.

If our health, state of mind, and quality of emotions start “malfunctioning,” what then? Isn’t it time to start looking at our priorities with a new pair of eyes? Have we gotten it all backwards? What really matters here and what are you going to do about it?

Oops, my time’s up!

Now, I will not sit here and pretend to be a financial wizard. One thing that has always worked for me though, is knowing how much money comes in, where it goes and what my financial priorities are. I find that to be a good starting point.

I treat time the same way. There are twenty-four hours in a day and, nothing I ever do or wish, will ever change that. The next logical question then is: “What do I have control over and what is the best investment of my time?”

When I work with clients who find time management to be a major challenge, the first thing I ask them to do is an inventory of where their time goes daily. Knowledge is power, after all.

Documenting your daily activities in detail, allows you to see clearly how you invest or spend your time and the effect your time choices have on the quality of your life and your sense of well being. When you look at, how your days go and how easily things can get out of hand, it’s easy to see why you may be on the verge of burn out.

Effective time management is close to impossible if we lack the conviction of our values and true priorities. That’s why the next step includes an honest look on what your true priorities are and how they compare with your daily choices. Most people are surprised to see how little their daily activities reflect their life priorities.

By gaining clarity on what we truly value and want to have in life, we become able to make the choices that make every hour of our day time well spent.

It snowed today – a lot!

Gardening is one of the ways I express myself creatively. I grew up watching my grandfather growing roses, tending grapes and fruit trees. In the summer, he used to wake me up early in the morning to go pick up figs for breakfast. At noon, the children used to lie down, in the shade of this huge fig tree that was in our back yard, and nap, while our mothers would sit nearby and gossip or knit – finding respite from the heat.

Why am I telling you all this? Well, my mind works in mysterious ways and I’ve learned not to fight it. I believe that everything has its place in this earth school of ours. Everything we experience finds its proper use in our life’s journey.

As I began daydreaming about my garden and spring in the middle of this cold, snow covered day, I couldn’t help but think of all the lessons my garden has taught me. Here is some of what I’ve learned:

• Take time to plan before you dig – it will save you a lot of time, energy, and disappointment;
• Design the garden that pleases you;
• Let the garden show you what it needs – stay flexible;
• Don’t worry about getting your hands dirty;
• Keep up with the weeds or they’ll take over your garden;
• Take your cues from the flowers themselves – if something refuses to thrive – let it go;
• Don’t be afraid to try something new;
• Learn from your mistakes;
• Above all, a garden is meant to be shared and enjoyed – There is always time to stop and smell the roses!

What else can we do? People are losing their jobs, the well is running dry, and the forecast is bleak. How do we go about maintaining our stamina while juggling our lives and not losing ourselves in the process?

Numerous studies suggest that long working hours, the inability to do what one loves and enjoys, and not honoring our personal priorities can lead to burnout. What good is that?

No matter what, we can’t stretch time. There are only 24 hours in a day and 7 days in a week. It becomes then a question of managing ourselves and our energy and not just focusing on managing our time.

It has been observed and documented that when people take care of themselves consistently and “recharge their battery” – sort-of-speak -  they perform better and avoid burnout.

Taking care of your body is a good place to start. Begin with the basics.

• How do you sleep? Do you feel rested when you wake up or not?
• What is your ritual before bedtime? Do you eat late? Do you drink? Do you smoke?
• Do you work up until bedtime?
• Do you tend to go to bed irritated and anxious?

Try all or some of the following and see if it makes a difference in how you feel the day after:

• Eat a healthy meal no later than 8 pm;
• Avoid alcohol and caffeine after 6 pm;
• Take a shower or a bath before bedtime;
• Avoid watching late night TV;
• Do something that helps you relax; Forget about work, it will be there tomorrow;
• Take 10-15 minutes before bedtime to meditate.

As a dear friend once suggested: “Maybe it’s time to do just what’s in front of you; chop wood, carry water and let the world go by.” Every so often, I need to do just that.

So, I focused on my family, my closest friends and my work with existing clients. I only did what was absolutely necessary and what gave me joy. I needed to clear the cobwebs of my mind and trim off the excess, sort of speak.

During this time, I witnessed an old friend’s futile battle with cancer. He was 37 and a father of two. I opened up to the fear, anxiety and confusion that most of us experience these days with everything that’s going on.

My daughters are growing up with lightning speed and I find myself wishing things could slow down a little. Nevertheless, life keeps going, impervious to our little dramas. My parents are aging and friends are going through major life transitions. In the midst of all this, I celebrated my 50th birthday and as one of my daughters pointed out, in her infinite compassion, Wow! I have lived half a century already!

I was looking forward to this stage of my life. I find growing older exhilarating and very liberating. There are definite privileges that come with age and I take full advantage of this little fact. Women my age get this.

There is a lot one learns in fifty years. Like, it’s never too late for a change and fear is one’s worst enemy. Or, whether we choose to be happy or not, life goes on, so we may as well lighten up and do the best we can with what we have.

What have you learned from your life experience and how are you applying these lessons? How often do you make time to be with yourself and have a heart-to-heart with you? There is a wealth of wisdom inside and we often forget to dive in and find the treasure.

It’s important to know how we want this time of the year to be. What do we crave for? What is our heart’s desire? As we go through our days, busy thoughts racing through our minds, what do we wish for?

When we are clear as to our wants and needs, we are more likely to satisfy them. Neglecting to honor our personal needs results in lack of personal balance and satisfaction.

As this year is coming to a close and while preparing for the year to come, honor yourself by engaging in the practice of:

1. Self-awareness. Being aware of how you feel in any given situation and what you truly want, is a gift and an art worth learning. It takes practice, for certain. Most of us haven’t been encouraged to be present within ourselves and honor ourselves. After all, being human is a journey into self-awareness. Imagine the strength that comes from knowing, at any given moment, who you are, what you want, and what you want to do, beyond any reasonable doubt.

   As you go through your day give yourself the gift of pausing and asking: “How do I feel right now?”, “Is this something I want to do or is it something I’m expected to do?”, “What do I want to do instead?”, “Am I willing to do what I want?” You’ll be surprised how little time it takes to do this exercise.

2. Self-acceptance. Children are great teachers in presence of mind and self-acceptance. They seem to know exactly what they want and when they want it by (it’s usually now). They don’t seem to feel self-conscious or guilty for getting their needs and wants met. Adults, are a different story altogether. Whether we have what we want or not, we find a way to torture and reject ourselves and feel guilty on top of it! Are you one of these unfortunate but extremely mainstream adults that engage in self-criticism as often as you get the chance? Try some good old fashioned forgiveness and kindness towards the only person that will always be there for you, no matter what: Yourself!
3. Self-love. Am I pushing it? It blows my mind that we actually think we can love others without loving ourselves first. Our relationship with ourselves is an ongoing exercise in learning to love, unconditionally. Isn’t that how humans have been wired to love? So, let’s practice some self-love this season and for seasons to come.

See yourself for who you are, accept yourself, and feel love and compassion for the person you are, for all you have been and all you are meant to be.